Daughter of The King

The First 7 Days: A Recap

2012-01-21T14:09:00.000-06:00

My first "7 Days" was amazing! I really enjoyed being out of the country on a trip like that by myself. It didn't feel like I was alone at all. Quite the opposite really. I spoke to people, asked lots of questions and answered many as well. Not to mention I was dialoguing with God all day everyday. It really was kind of like it was the two of us. I came home with a great sense of joy and peace and ultimately a reconnection with my Lord that I wasn't even fully aware of how desperately I needed. (I don't think that sentence is necessarily written correctly but I think it expresses what I mean!)More of all of that to come, but now I am thinking about my next 7 Days! I am thinking this challenge will be food related. Still thinking and praying through the details but I know I will begin soon. :)

2012: The Year of the Challenges

2012-01-03T21:11:00.001-06:00

2012 Woo hoo! Here we are and here we go! My church and my pastors are doing something so very cool as we kick off this new year. They have a new book coming out for married couples called Sexperiment. Along with this book we are doing a new series at church and a challenge is being issued to all married couples: Have sex for 7 days straight. Sounds like a fun challenge to me! :) But, since I am not married I will not be participating but look forward to being married the next time we do 'The Challenge'. However, I do love the 7 day challenge idea. It is a short enough time to commit to doing something that you can actually follow through without too much trouble. But I also think it is long enough of a challenge to have real lasting impact. So, I decided to do some 7 day challenges of my own this year. (time for a new paragraph!)The first one of 2012 actually begins tomorrow for me and is kind of unique and not really one you could do spur of the moment, or maybe you could. I will be spending 7 days alone in a foreign country! I am extremly excited about this first challenge. The challenge for me won't be so much about completing it (I don't see myself coming home early!) but what I experience during my 7 days.The challenge will be to make the most of my time, grow closer to God - connect with him in a real and tangible way, and come home refreshed and renewed for 2012. This is my New Year's of sorts. More on that to come I am sure...I am so blessed and thankful for this opportunity and I cannot wait for the experiences to start! And they will in a few short hours as I will be departing for the airport at 3am! See you across the pond! Cheerio!

Rumbly

2011-12-10T14:11:00.001-06:00

As I sit here at home on my couch right now I am very "Rumbly in my Tumbly". (As Pooh would say) When I was younger my best friend and I loved this phrase that Winnie the Pooh used to describe when his stomach made the sounds alerting him that he was hungry. And I guess I am.

But if I may be a little methaphorical with this, I feel "rumbly" in my life in general alerting me to something as well. As the year winds down and a relationship has come to an end I find myself really looking forward to the new and blank page that January 1 will bring.

I have felt the Lord's hand on me so caringly over the last 6 weeks as he has loved me, been patient and forgiving with me and has healed me so sweetly. His word has been a source of strength and his people a place of refuge.

As I come out of this time and into a new chapter I am extremely excited to see all that God has in store. Things for me to do, things for me to learn, places for me to see. I know the possibilities are endless. A few that I see taking shape and that I look forward to exploring more are:

1. being others focused and less selfish
2. using my time wisely and being more productive, organized and structured with my life
3. creating. a lot.

I am exciting about exploring all this and more right here. "Here" is a place where at the moment no one actually exists except me; however "here" is a place I feel extremely accountable for the things I say through my writing.

So, here we go, even though it is not January 1 quite yet. It is actually December 10. But in the past I have been the Queen of tomorrow, next week, next month, someday. So since today is where I am today is when I am going to begin. It is after all "...the day that the Lord has made." So why wait.

Coming to Grips

2010-03-16T20:56:00.003-05:00

I journal. I am a journaler. I love words. I have truly had a diary or journal for as long as I can remember. I write stuff down. And I enjoy doing it. But I have journaled less in the last year than maybe any other time in my life. I even started this online journal that I have ignored for the past several months. And the truth is a lot has been going on in my life. A lot of very journal worthy things. But yet the pen has not been put to paper and my fingers have not typed any of it out. That is not like me. But the reality is I don't think I have been myself in many ways for the last year or so. And I am pretty sure I know the main reason why.

Obedience

2009-08-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

The thing about obeying God is not that it means we will have a perfect life. And the thing about disobeying God does not mean that we will live a life of suffering and punishment.

However, the Bible is filled with instruction and guidance for our life. God created us and he does know what’s best for us. In His Word he teaches us how to live in obedience to him. Through His Son and The Holy Spirit he has enabled us to live out that life. When we choose to go against his instruction we aren't choosing the best path and there will be consequences to those decisions. These are consequences that God tried first to protect us from by instructing us to go a different direction. So, we aren't being punished. We simply set in motion, by our own actions, things that are now going to happen.

When we live a life of obedience to God it does not mean that we will be blessed with a life without pain and suffering. It does, however, mean that when we suffer through trials and experience pain we can know full well that these are not consequences to our acts of disobedience. We can rejoice in the fact that God has allowed these situations in our lives for a higher purpose. We can then begin to seek out that higher purpose and place our focus there. Growth and blessing will surely follow for us and for others God chooses to reach through our trials.

Faith and Golf Carts

2009-07-12T16:54:00.002-05:00

Being asked to do something you don't feel capable of doing is never easy. It is a challenge and can be very difficult. I was recently asked to do something I felt very unequipped to accomplish. I was asked to decorate some golf carts for an upcoming women's event. But not just a women's event, a women's conference, a huge, once a year amazing women's conference. And this just happened to be our first year to do it so I had nothing to go on.

When I got the call I immediately wanted to say yes just because being asked to do anything to help make the conference great was an honor but I immediately second guessed myself as I thought about decorating golf carts. I wasn't really sure where I would even begin. My mind just went blank. I silently tried to picture something in my mind and all I could think of was streamers. I was mortified when the person who had called and asked me to do this laughed as she said she didn't feel qualified cause all she could come up with to do was streamers! Yikes! What had I just agreed to? I asked for some artistic direction but was given great freedom. Great! I hung up leaving her as positive and assured as possible but she was the only one! As soon as we hung up I began to panic. I couldn't even think of what I needed to think about. I am a list person and I didn't even have one idea to start one!

I remember having a clear moment of knowing that I really had no idea where to even begin let alone begin to think about what the finished product would be. Later on that same day with no ideas I just began to pray. I was calm and collected and I said the most simple prayer. I told God that I had no idea where to begin and was not sure how to complete the task assigned to me. But I knew that if he had placed it before me he would help me through. His plan was not for me to fail and he gave me the task because he knew I could do it with him. I prayed and asked him to show me the first step. Then I asked him to show me each step that followed until the end. I committed the project to prayer on my prayer board and I just moved forward.

And of course the steps came. Ideas came, supplies came, more steps. Other people came with ideas and hands to put it all together. In the end I was amazed at the final project and so were so many others. The golf carts really turned out great! It was so wonderful to be so aware of God and his hand in the project from beginning to end. I smiled as I moved the golf carts from my 'prayer request' list to my 'thank you' list and I realized something that was profound to me. All of my life is filled up with a series of golf carts. Each day there are a certain number of things set before me to do. Some of them I feel capable of doing on my own and others I do not. But I should be taking all of them to the Lord and asking him to show me the first step and each step that follows. There is nothing too big or too small that he will not guide me in and show me the way. I just have to have faith enough to ask him. I believe now that if God allows something to be placed before me to do it is because, with him, I am fully capable of doing it. It really changed my perspective on how I tackle projects and how I respond to overwhelming challenges. I am more intentional in praying for help and watching to see the help come and then remembering to thank God for all he is doing. Faith and golf carts go hand in hand, in my mind anyway!

A Wrench Is Not A Hammer

2009-06-04T09:13:00.002-05:00

Yesterday morning I began my day by putting together a new bookshelf in my office. As I set out all the parts I realized I needed a screwdriver and hammer. I went to a nearby coworkers desk that I knew had some tools in it. I found the screwdriver I needed but no hammer. I did find a nice sturdy, heavy duty, metal staple gun that I figured could drive things into wood so I grabbed the tools that were there and got started. The screwdriver worked great and when it came time to hammer in some plastic pieces that went into the bottom like little feet, the "staple gun hammer" worked fine too. One of the last steps for the bookcase was to put the large piece of cardboard-like material on the back so that it covers all the open space. You attach this piece with about 40 little nails. At this point I figured my "staple gun hammer" might not do the trick. So I went to another nearby coworkers desk who was also sure to have some tools. Unfortunately I found no hammer. But I did find a nice strong metal wrench. This would make a great hammer! And it would also keep me from having to walk all the way to our shell space in another part of the building that was full of hammers to get what I needed.

So, I began putting the little nails in with my "wrench hammer" and they were going in OK but it was taking several hits for each little nail. I was realizing this was going to take a very long time. After a few went in OK one took a funny turn off the "wrench hammer" and came out the side of the wood. At that time I took a look at the wrench and realized it was getting pretty banged up. There will little marks in the metal from each time it hit the nail. I was damaging the wrench. So I accepted defeat and made the long walk to our shell space filled with tools and found myself a hammer. During that long 2 minute walk I realized something. What I had done with the staple gun and wrench is what we so often do with volunteers in church. Rather than do the work to find the person who is gifted to do a specific task we need done we take whatever is right there and convenient and without paying attention to what they were made to do we just use them to get done the "pressing" thing that we need right at that moment. When in reality a small amount of work and effort and prayerful looking will lead us to a person that is actually gifted to perform the task at hand. If we don't take this extra step we can become frustrated because the person we grabbed that was closest isn't doing the job as well as we liked. But the true tragedy is the damage that is done to the individual who is trying to be something they are not.

My Dysfunctional Relationship With Sports

2009-05-26T16:56:00.003-05:00

I was recently asked by a new friend if I was a fan of sports. I knew exactly how to answer that question as I have been asked before and have developed a pretty accurate response:

I do love sports! I love my Dallas teams especially. But recently it is more of a love/hate relationship. They are actually a lot like a boyfriend who cheats. And I am the girlfriend who always takes them back. We get together and he makes all these promises and I get my hopes up. He actually delivers on them for a time. Everything seems great! He is doing what he says he will do and really showing promise of change. But then the going gets tough (aka playoffs begin) and he starts to stumble. Pretty soon true colors are shown and he is back to his old ways cheating on me all over again. And I am devastated, crushed and somehow shocked that this is happening and I realize then how much I really did have my hopes up and how much I believed in him. Them.

But, when the fall rolls around we both know I will take him back again with open arms. Pure dysfunction.

2009-05-04T08:44:00.003-05:00

No electricity. More power.

Sunday mornings have developed something of routine at church. When I arrive at about 8am I head into the office area and drop my stuff at my cubicle to the sound of the band rehearsing in the Worship Center. At that point I usually print out the weekend announcements and make any additions we need specifically for our campus. Sometimes there are flyers to print for the information area. So I spend a bit of time at my desk before heading in to the Worship Center to see how rehearsals are going and be ready to do my part with announcements if I am slated for that particular weekend.

This Sunday was different though. From the moment I walked into the building I could tell things were not as they usually were. The building seemed oddly quiet and still. And I soon noticed not all of the lights were on. I headed into the office area with no soundtrack coming from the Worship Center and to my cubicle. Fewer lights were on once inside there and at my desk I found the phone and computer had no power either. So our building was having some power issues. Not a complete surprise in and of itself. There was a big storm Saturday night and our building tends to lose power with lots of wind and rain. And sometimes with just a little wind and rain. However, this was difference because it was 8am.

When I arrive at 8am there has already been a team of staff and volunteers in the building for a couple of hours. So, for all of those people to have been there and obviously been aware of the problem and for there still to be a problem meant we really had a problem.

About that time I headed out of the office, unable to print anything or do anything productive in there and met the rest of our staff in the hallway discussing the obvious problem and plans to move forward with church. Main problem number 1 - power in the Worship Center. We had the generator running and providing a little bit of power but not enough to do anything more than provide a little bit of light in certain places. Definitely not enough for lights, camera action on our stage! So, that team was working towards an acoustic set up on stage with lots of candles and the little light they could get. Our Campus Pastor was now mentally preparing to bring a live message to our people.

Problem number 2: there was absolutely no light in our adult bathrooms or our children's bathrooms. Definitely a problem. So battery powered lanterns and candles were found and used to illuminate the powder rooms for kids and adults alike. Everything really seemed to be coming together. Plans were in place to handle all the check in for the nursery, preschool and children's areas as well as activities to do with all of them.

Heading back to the Worship Center it was starting to get warm and musty in there from the lack of A/C and the extra humidity in the air. So, we just opened the closest outside doors and all the Worship Center doors to air it out and cool it down. Some air freshener was sprayed and we were in good shape.

The band, singers and choir were ready to go and new music had been chosen that everyone knew the words too and hopefully the people in the services would know them too since no words would be able to be projected onto the side screens.

So, as 10am drew near we were ready to go. People began to file in to the Worship Center and take their seats. It was obvious to them at this point that something was up and this was no normal Sunday morning. But as the service began and the acoustic music filled the room something happened. It seemed...right. As our voices began to fill the room you just got a sense of how great the moment was. The whole service was that way including the message from our Campus Pastor. What an amazing service.

Even though we had no electricity there was definitely no lack of power.

Progress in Process

2009-03-18T18:51:00.002-05:00

As I drive to work each morning it seems one road or another is always under construction. Fixing cracks and holes, making improvements. The roads are never left alone for too long. They are always in some sort of process of repair and improvement.

It made me start to think: Do our lives reflect this same process?

If we think about it there really should be orange cones and markers along the paths of our lives. I recently passed by an electronic sign in a construction area with a great message: "Progress in Process". This should be the motto of our lives. We never stop growing, learning, or maturing. Fixing the little cracks and holes that are revealed to us by our loving Lord. As we invite him in and get to know him better he shows us our areas that need a little improvement. We then need to put those areas under construction and begin working with God to make them better. Make it more enjoyable for us as well as for those that travel along the highways of our lives.

Then as people remark about how improved the conditions are we can point to the sign "Adopt a Highway: This mile purchased and maintained by The Living God". We get to point to him. He maintains us and helps us make the necessary improvements.

So, who owns the stretch of miles in our life? Are we just filling in the cracks with some cheap imitation? God wants to go beneath the crack, lay a new foundation and help us build on top of it. Layers that won't erode away, or weaken with time and repeated use. He is The Cornerstone and the only one worth building anything on.

The Calm After

2009-03-14T15:56:00.002-05:00

I am so glad to be settled into the new place. All the boxes are gone, everything is where it should be. I own less stuff - as moving always allows you the opportunity for. Going from a one bedroom all my own to sharing a two bedroom means sharing common space and less room for all the stuff. So, getting rid of things has felt awesome. My bathroom is much smaller but now that everything is put away and the unnecessary items are gone I have found I actually have all the space I need. With a little help from my new Etagere that I purchased online from Walmart.com. I put it together myself and I love it. I think that might be the only way I really enjoying shopping at Walmart; online. I didn't have to mess with any crowds or screaming kids running around in their diapers. I don't mean to stereotype Walmart shoppers but there really are screaming kids in diapers every time I am there. Or something just as frustrating. :)

But everything has its place and everything is in its place here in the new apartment. And I love it. The Internet was turned on today so I was able to do some writing and posting to the blog that has been silent for a few weeks. Always feels good to write. I am looking forward to doing a lot more of it. Thank you Lord for this beautiful apartment, my new great roommate and her sweet cat, Chess. And thank you for the noisy neighbors next door and upstairs, and not just for the fact that they are all gone or asleep or otherwise unavailable to make noise right now, but thank you that they are in my life and may they see your light in my life over the next 15 months even though at times they will be causing me unnecessary stress and frustration with their elephant like steps and running screaming children who don't have a proper bed time. :) But really, thank you. I do cherish the opportunities I have to think outside myself and rely solely on your strength to do your will. I love you!

The Other Side

2009-02-25T17:10:00.002-06:00

I have some practice with asking for forgiveness after I let my mouth run amuck and I have said things I wished I had not. But today as I was on the other side of that equation I realized that it has been awhile since I had to ask anyone for that type of forgiveness. And not because I am no longer sensitive to it and just quit asking. I have been more careful with my words. With God's strength and help I have been more careful with my words.

Today a fellow believer and lover of the cause we are all fighting for got a little carried away with his words. Very carried away actually. Ultimately in his frustration he questioned my belief in the bible and ultimately my salvation. It was quite shocking and I just politely excused myself from the conversation and hung up. A few moments later the phone rang again. I was pretty sure it was the same number. I did not answer. A much different voice was there a few seconds later as I listened to his voicemail. He humbly apologized for letting his zeal carry him away and he sincerely wished to ask for my forgiveness. At the end of the message he stated that I had his number and I could call him back if I wished. I panicked briefly realizing I did not have his number. Empathy is and always will be very strong in me. I believe God placed this gift there for a reason. In this moment I was overcome with empathy and the thought of someone wanting to apologize and receive forgiveness and then not being able to receive it. I could feel his emotion. Thankfully I was able to figure out how to find old numbers in my fancy phone and that included incoming calls. I was able to call him back and gratefully accept his apology and offer my forgiveness.

Then two people who share the same passion for the same cause and who sometimes let their passion lead out in their words before the rest of them can catch up and think better of it had a great talk. Alike in a lot of ways we were able to have a candid moment. Two forgiven sinners still on a path towards being more like their creator. It was nice. Especially being on the other side. I was grateful for the mercy and forgiveness that flowed freely from me because of Christ's Spirit inside of me. I wanted him so badly to receive it and understand all was forgiven. And it really was. I held nothing against him and in no way wanted him to suffer or be in pain for his sin. It was forgiven. And even just now I am realizing the gift God gave me in these moments today. A small glimpse into how he feels about me? How his forgiveness is real and works in my life. All is forgiven. He does not want me to suffer because of my sin. It is forgiven and forgotten.
Wow. Thank you.

A Second Job

2009-02-25T12:04:00.002-06:00

I am an organized, detailed person. I don't lose track of things or information. I have always been this way. Lately I have excelled in this area at work. I keep track of lots of different areas and details and sometimes people. But I realized lately that this area of my personality has not been coming home with me. The details at home have been slipping and things are not in order as they should be. As I like them to be. As I want them to be. I come home and immediately go into relaxing free time mode but am too relaxed when it's a mess or I know there are things to do. I was talking with a wise friend who pointed out that when we come home we really have a second job with its own set of details and responsibilities to tend to. This seems simple but for some reason it clicked with me. I come home and have a little more work to do to keep my life in order. I function much better when life is in order. A little more work and then the relaxing free time is much more relaxing. My friend is very wise.

A Test: Pass or Fail

2009-02-24T13:57:00.002-06:00

I love it when I am able to see a test as it is coming and washing over me. I have a tendency to react and be emotionally driven and self focused. Really trying to work on that. I had an experience today where I had options to react. No reaction was really needed but what started to come up was anger, frustration, hurt, insecurity, worry, anxiety. Me, me, me, me, me. None of it felt good. And then I just had a pause. A moment where I was aware of what was happening. And I didn't like it and didn't want to continue down the all too familiar path. Two things were clear: this is not a big deal and this is not about me! Once the switch was flipped all of the sudden what I felt was excitement, joy, fun. This is a great project and totally in the sphere of what I am capable of doing. So, I am moving forward in doing it. With joy, excitement and great anticipation because this small detail is part of bigger picture of drawing people into God's House and into an intimate relationship with him! Thank God for this moment and the strength to turn from sin and have a reaction that you want me to have and is the best for me and glorifies you!

Pass!

Uncertainly Certain

2009-02-24T09:23:00.000-06:00

Of these things I am certain:
God created me, loves me, redeemed me and forgave me for all of my sins. Those I committed before knowing him as well as those committed after knowing him. I am actually the only one who even makes a distinction between the two. He does not. For that I am grateful.
He has a ministry for me.
He allowed certain things to happen in my life that I may be a testimony to all He is and can do and He wants me to share my story which in turn is sharing His story. My HiStory.
Before I can move forward and truly help others see him there is a process of healing and dealing with what actually did happen.
This is where I am today.
I am excited and very much looking forward to going forward. I want to have peace with my past and then use it to help others see Christ.
I won't lie, I want the process to be quick. If I could skip over it and just start with the helping I would but I think I have tried that but don't know if helped anyone and I only hurt myself. But I do know that God will still show me opportunities along the way to point people to him and still help. It never stops being about him. It never stops being about pointing his sons and daughters back to him.
So, I will take the time. Go through the process of healing and dealing with the past only so that I may then be fully used to spread the Love of Christ and the Message of Christ to everyone I can. For that is the purpose to which I am called, to which we are all called. And I am humbled by the call.